Healing After Adversity: How to Reclaim Your Identity and Move Forward | Wine, Wisdom & Becoming Beyond Your Past

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Welcome to Wine Wisdom & What Now. I am your host, Yolanda Holiday. If you are new here, welcome. Please come in. This is the podcast for us by us. Everyday lived experience of the Black woman 40 and older. And if you are returning, welcome back. Thank you. I greatly appreciate your support.

Before we pour, I'd like to discuss life. Things happen, things will come up that's not planned, and how we handle it is the only thing we can control. We cannot control life happenings, [00:01:00] because life is going to happen, but we can control how we handle it. If you are looking at this podcast or maybe even listening, it definitely looks a little different.

It may sound a little different. I am not recording in my podcast studio because life happened. There was death in the family, had to pivot, but I still decided I needed to show up, and showing up does not always look perfect. So I struggled with am I going to just put a picture in place or am I gonna actually show the video?

And I decided I'm gonna actually show the video. The lighting is not perfect. The sound, I don't have my mic this week. Sound may not be the quality that it normally is, but I'm here and I'm showing up because I said this is everyday lived experiences of Black women over 40, and every day is not perfect.

But we still show up and we still do what we need to do. So today is not a [00:02:00] perfect day, but I am here and I'm excited to have this conversation with you. So for that, I'm giving myself grace, and I'm giving you a reminder that it may not always be perfect, but still show up and do what you need to do for you.

Today's pairing. The pairing is our segment where we feature a Black-owned wine. We feature a Black-owned wine that I feel complements or will complement the conversation. None of this is rehearsed, so I always choose a wine that I think matches the guest that we're having on based on the information that I know about them.

And I recommend these wines because as Black consumers, we need to support our own, and in the wine industry, we make up less than 1%, and a lot of it is just knowing, knowing what wines are out there and how we can support So let's get into today's pairing. Today I'm featuring the California [00:03:00] Symphony from Theopolis Vineyards, a Black woman-owned winery founded by Theodora Lee.

Yes, we have featured several of her other wines. This is a new one. When I was thinking about today's conversation with Sharmaine, our guest, I wanted a wine that somehow represented change and transformation, and this one caught my attention because even the grape has a story. Symphony was created by crossing two different grape varieties, Muscat of Alexandria and Grenache Gris, and what came from that was something uniquely its own.

We go through things we never planned for: adversity, fear, trauma, relationships. Relationships change. Careers change. Life takes a turn we didn't see coming, and those experiences can change us. But being changed by what you've experienced doesn't mean that experience gets to define the rest of your story.

Sometimes the shift is [00:04:00] in how we choose to see it. Sometimes it's reclaiming a part of ourselves we lost along the way, and sometimes it's simply deciding this happened to me, but it does not get to determine where I go from here. I am loving that. That just speaks to not only what I believe our conversation will lead to, it speaks to the intro before we pour.

Change is required. Adversity is gonna happen. It's all in how we handle it. I am excited to announce today's guest. Sharmaine Croutch is a realtor, transformational entrepreneur speaker, and author known as The Shift Coach. Through her lived experiences of overcoming adversity, fear, trauma, and life's unexpected transitions, Sharmaine helps audiences shift their perspective, reclaim their power, and move forward with purpose.

Known for her authentic and relatable approach, Sharmaine uses storytelling, humor, [00:05:00] vulnerability, and spiritual insight to create meaningful conversations about resilience, purpose, identity, and personal transformation 

Welcome, Sharmaine

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Hello. Hello. How are you?

Yolanda Holliday, Host: I am good. I'm so excited for you to join me today and to have this conversation.

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Yes, it is an honor to be here. Thank you for having me

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Thank you. And I remember the first time we spoke, your energy, I just knew that when we finally sat down to record, it is going to be a powerful conversation that is going to provide nuggets just for anyone who is in listening range, just because I was so impressed in our little 15-minute call. So I know this is gonna be good

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Um, yeah. Thank you. I'm excited. I'm ready

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Okay, so the question I always lead with is, what season are you currently navigating?

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Oh, um, [00:06:00] definitely I talk a lot about becoming. Um, and right now I do feel like I'm in the season of learning how to be in the becoming because a lot of times we get focused on the end result. And I've spent a lot of time in my life trying to figure out how to push through or being in survival mode, um, you know, making things happen.

And now I'm learning what it means to allow God to transform me while I'm building what He's called me to build. So definitely learning how to be in the becoming

Yolanda Holliday, Host: And that's always a struggle because we know where we are and we know where we wanna be, and when you listen to other people share their journey, you never hear about the middle. So in most people's mind, when they're trying to get to the end, they don't even know what that middle looks like, and it's not always pretty.

But no one really shares that process that happens in the middle. [00:07:00] So can you explain or tell us a little bit about what your middle to getting to becoming looks like?

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Painful, uncomfortable, um, but yet peaceful at the same time. There's a peace and a comfort that upholds me because I know that God will sustain me and I'm watching His hand. It's like I can literally see His hand as I go through my day-to-day upholding me while I go through this process. But there's a lot of pruning, there's a lot of purging, there's a lot of pressure, there's a lot of unfolding, there's a lot of revealing, there's a lot of stripping away, being stripped away from everything that I knew, everything that I thought I knew. So it's very uncomfortable. It's very painful, but yet very peaceful at the same time. So yeah,

Yolanda Holliday, Host: And it is just, it does. But you know, if you truly wanna get to that peaceful place, we all have to go through that journey. Like when, b- when you're not thinking [00:08:00] about it, you don't even think about the process. But I know for myself, when I was going through that journey, it was so still, it was so quiet, it was so painful.

There was a lot of purging, there was a lot of releasing, there was a lot of difficult decisions, but there was peace with it, which is, it almost feels like it contradicts itself, but it doesn't because that is, that is where you're getting to. You're releasing the things that you were holding onto that you probably should have never, whether it's friendships or mindset, whatever it is, you're releasing it.

And everyone has to get to that journey, go through that journey to get to that place, I believe anyway

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Absolutely, 100%. You

don't get the oil without the cursing, so yeah,

100%. 

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Was there an aha moment or something that made you realize, "This is not where my, this is not the end goal, and I wanna become m- who I'm truly destined to be"? Was there an aha moment, or was it just something that you saw that made you [00:09:00] say, "I wanna get there"?

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: There's been a lot of aha moments. A lot of them in which I, I'm not gonna say ignored, I just didn't know what my next steps were. Like, how do I get there? I'm here, how do I get there? Um, I can tell you my last aha moment was last year, June. Um, I am a servant leader in my church. I serve under my pastors, Dr.

Shamari and Co-Pastor Jackie White at Halfline Church here in Charlotte, North Carolina, and they took their leaders to a conference in Ohio last year in June. And I was kinda going through a funk at the time. My bonus mom was battling brain cancer. Her health was going up and down. It was just a lot going on with my business.

Things were looking up, and then all of a sudden it just kind of went left, and I was just in a state like, "This is not it." Um, and I kinda let things... You know, sometimes your home can be a [00:10:00] reflection of where your mind is, so I was folding clothes and I was just throwing all the laundry in my closet, just not wanting to put 'em up. You know, f- they're folded, just ain't put 'em up. So I'm putting them on top of my shoes in the closet. And before I left to go to Ohio, the Lord told me to clean my closet, and I'm like, "Ugh, I don't want to." But you know, when you go out of town, you wanna make sure you come back and everything's good. So I went ahead and I cleaned my closet. I went to the conference, and I know, right? I went to the conference, and the second day they had prayer that morning, early morning prayer, and I'm walking around the sanctuary and I'm frustrated with God. I'm talking about me and God is having it out. And I'm walking around the sanctuary and I'm like, "God, what a- what am I doing?

Like, what are you doing? Like, what's next? I need you to tell me something. Don't bring me all the way to Ohio and still be silenced on me. Like, I need you to talk to me." And so in frustration, we hashing it out. Well, I'm hashing it out 'cause he ain't saying nothing. And then all of a sudden he told me to go to a wall. And so I go to the wall and I'm [00:11:00] like, "Okay, God, like, what's up? Like, what is happening? Talk to me. Don't be quiet on me." And I remember so vividly, he says, "If you don't do what I told you to do and use your gift, I'm gonna take it away from you and I'm gonna give it to your daughter, but she's gonna have to go through 10 times more than what you went through."

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Wow

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: I threw my hands up immediately. I had not heard God's voice like that in a long time. And that right there for me was like, okay. So I went through the remaining of the conference. I got back, and when he-- when I got back, he told me, as soon as I stepped in the door, he said, "Now seek my face for 31 days." And I'm like, I put my stuff out, take my stuff out my luggage, and I go in my closet to put my luggage in there, and I'm like, "You know what? I did clean my closet before, before, I left, [00:12:00] right?" So now I'm in my closet, which I call my cave. My pastor ended up doing a series called "The Cave Chronicles" during that same time, which was so weird.

Not weird, but it was in alignment. Um, and I went in there from July 1st to July 31st, and I prayed every single morning for at least an hour. Um, and that's where God began to deal with me, show me me. He began to show me the things that I had been carrying that I did not know was there, show me things about myself, um, about where he was taking me, and charging me to trust him in this next season.

And on July 31st, I would read the Bible every day. I would go in there. July 31st, I went in there and I, I would always ask God, "What is it that you want me to read?" Um, and the Holy Spirit led me to Psalms 23. Now, a lot of times people would say, "Oh, well that's a familiar passage." And so when I open it and I'm like, "Okay, Psalms 23, 'The Lord [00:13:00] is my shepherd. I will not lack nothing.'" That was the, the version that I read. And I'm like... And then I heard Holy Spirit say, "Will you allow me to shepherd you? In this next season, you can't get to where you're trying to get to by yourself. In order for you to get there, I have to be your shepherd." And so that was the moment I was just like, "Okay."

I gave God a, a real yes. Another yes. And, um, ever since then, I've been allowing him to lead me 100% in everything that I do, and to watch how God has literally unfolded so many things in my life and al- allow me to catapult into the becoming of where he's taking me, the things that I've seen years and years ago, the revelations that I've had years and years ago. I'm, I'm literally walking in it right [00:14:00] now. So, so yeah.

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Okay. So as, as women, it's very human for us to want to be in control. It is very difficult, and it could be just from experiences in life, just the way we're, our DNA, it's very difficult for us to just sit still. If there is a woman that's listening that's having the same conversation with God, she's just not hearing Him, she doesn't know what direction to go in, she, she doesn't know how to sit still, what advice would you give her?

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: It doesn't matter what you wish to control, you will never be in control, and that's just the raw truth of the matter. There-- We can control how we react to certain things, but Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans that I have for you." Meaning that we can make our own plans, just like in Habakkuk it talks about write the vision, make it plain, right? We are supposed to have a [00:15:00] plan. But I had to learn to pray to ask God, "Okay, this is my plan. Help me to align it with your will and help me to be okay with it." And so for any woman who is a control freak like I was and still am sometimes, sometimes I gotta pop myself and get myself back realigned, um, there's a submission process that comes with it that when you learn to take your hands off of things and understand that all things work together, the good, bad, the ugly, the ups, the downs, the griefs, the hurt, the pain, the good times, all those things work together.

The lessons, the losses, all of those things work together and when you learn that and you actually build a relationship with God and allow him to be your shepherd and Abba Father, the one that leads you, because even a father discipline, the Bible talks about that too. So there's gonna be times when you decide to decipher and go somewhere else, go left when he tell you to go right because you wanna [00:16:00] be in control.

Now you got a, a longer route, just like a GPS. You know how you turning your GPS,

you like, "Okay, I'm familiar with this area. Let me go ahead and turn left. It's telling me to go straight, but I know another way." Now you done ran into a car accident or something and delayed your, your journey getting there to your arrival because you wanted to be in control.

So learn the power of submission under God and learn to build a relationship with him and allow him to be in control and have 100% faith in where he places you, even through the ups and downs, and I promise you, you will also learn to have peace through your discomfort and your storm and your journey.

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Right, right. And through that, I will say just from my own testimony, even when we're being our stubborn selves and we're not wanting to listen, He doesn't give up on us. He doesn't give up on us, and if you are truly a believer, you're gonna feel the presence, and at some point you're gonna give in.

There's no way you're gonna ever think that you're more powerful than God himself, so you're going to give in. And for me, when [00:17:00] I, I burnt out, nothing, my mind, my body was just like, "Sit down. I'm still pushing through." It w- it was, it was my season of healing. I needed to be in a season of healing. Life was weighing me down, and I still was not, I was not being silent.

I was not sitting still. I was not waiting for direction and guidance of where to go. I thought that I can just create another path and go a different way. And in all of that, still God was like, "N- no, ma'am. Let m- let me help you out." In all of trying to push through, trying to figure out what was wrong, I got diagnosed with a brain tumor.

Brain tumor was non-cancerous. It was, uh, it's in the pituitary gland, so you can live with it. Like, it was nothing that was going to harm me, it was just enough to get my attention. I needed to do the medication and, you know, today I live with it, no headaches, no nothing. But that was what I needed, 'cause it was after that that I was like, "Okay, God.

I hear you." Then it was, "All [00:18:00] right. I'm supposed to be sitting down." And in that I realized that in order to get to peace, this peace that I desired, this life that I wanted, I truly had to heal. And that's when I started shedding, and that's when I started really reflecting and listening and praying and, and not only trying to lead the way, find the way that I was supposed to be led, sitting still long enough to hear the direction I'm supposed to go in.

So even if there's someone that's struggling, just know that it's never too late. He's never gonna take His hands off of us. You just have to be willing to be vulnerable in the moment.

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Absolutely, 100%. I wanna add something if I can right here. You were talking about, um, the control. The thing is, one thing I, I noticed and I realized is that control is rooted in fear. A lot of

times wanting to be in control all the time is rooted in fear, whether it's something that [00:19:00] happened in your past, not making the right decisions when you, you know, dec- decided to make a decision or what so have you.

And so fear, it, it, it stems from uncertainty. You know, when you're unsure of how things will be if you allow someone else in to do the job, or it doesn't matter which way you look at it. Um, and whenever you have uncertainty, fear is sure to follow. And so because of those seeds that have been planted, you have to get in a relationship within yourself to where you trust yourself as well. And the way that I've learned to do that, once again, was kind of getting in alignment with God, because I had to be able to be okay with being still. So because the world is so loud, you know what I mean? It's so loud. It's so chaotic. There's this going on over here, that going on over this. And it's just like, okay, so and if I'm constantly allowing myself to be pulled by the noise, then how am I able to ever really settle in my own mind or within myself?

So [00:20:00] learning how to deal with that fear and overcoming fear, because fear doesn't mean to stop. It's being able to take movement even still with it present. Um, you have to know how to take those steps one at a time, even with it present, and that's how you overcome and that's how you gain trust within yourself as well. So yeah.

Yolanda Holliday, Host: right. Now, to get to where you are today, there was a journey of healing. And as you said, it was painful, it was not always pretty. Did you, other than your faith, did you rely on anyone or anything else to help you get through your journey?

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Therapy. I believe in therapy and theology. Just like I love Jeezy and I love Jesus. I am multidimensional, okay? So,

Yolanda Holliday, Host: important. And well-balanced.

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: yeah. So, you know, for the most part, I'll, I'll tell you this. I was getting ready [00:21:00] to do a, um- An assignment that God told me to do back in 2017 that we'll get to in just a second. And I called my therapist. Um, she wasn't hired or retained as my therapist at that time, but I had a relationship with her, so from time to time throughout the years I would just kind of reach out to her whenever certain things were happening and I feel like I needed someone to talk to. And, um, I was telling her what I was getting ready to do, and she was like, "Okay." She was like, "That's good." She said, "Now wait a minute. Before you do this, are you doing this to hurt or, and expose those that hurt you or are you doing it to help someone else? Are you doing it to just tell your story? Are you doing-- Like, why are you doing this?"

And I sat there and I thought about what I told her and I was like, "Dang, everything I did say was that they did and I ca-" And I didn't realize that that's what I was [00:22:00] doing. She said, "I'ma tell you what. Put that down. Don't write nothing else. You need to go through at least 12 intensive weeks of therapy." And those 12 weeks turned into eight months, so yes, I went through therapy for sure. I needed that. Um, yeah, I went through therapy and it was very transformational. It was a very pivotal part in the process of me transforming and becoming and, um, gaining a new perspective on a lot of things, um, that I did not know. So yeah, therapy. Therapy, she's-- I love her to death. My therapist is the best to me. I don't care what nobody say. Dr. Crystal Curry, you that girl.

Yolanda Holliday, Host: I, I would say mental health is just as important as your physical health. The same way we do annual physical checkups, we should do annual... Even if life is great and we think nothing's wrong, check in annually. Just even if it's to say, "Hey, what's up, girl?" Whatever it is. But you need to be [00:23:00] conscious and intentional about your mental health.

I believe wholeheartedly in therapy.

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Absolutely. Absolutely. For sure. For

Yolanda Holliday, Host: So what was that 2017 assignment you were given?

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Um, ooh, well, in 2017, um, the Lord told me that I was gonna write a book.

And I said, "Lord, what you mean write a book? I don't even like to read. What you talking about?" And he was like, "Well, you're gonna write a book and about your life." And at the time I wasn't certain on what that meant. I thought maybe I would write about where I was at that time, but I did not know that there was a lot more growing, a lot more wisdom, a lot more guidance, that I needed a lot more pruning and purging and going through the process. And so, um, at that time, fast-forward throughout the years from 2017 until [00:24:00] last summer, 2025, when I had that encounter that I was telling you about earlier, I would pick it up, I would put it down, pick it up, put it down, and I just, I would get writer's block, and I could not get past certain points. Um, it would bring back those emotions a lot of times, or I would have, like, really bad brain fog, and it was just like I just couldn't, I couldn't wrap my mind and my emotions.

I couldn't tie them together to really put it down on, on paper. Um, and, um, when I went through that process last summer when I went into my cave in my closet and went through that consecration period July 1st of last year, I picked it back up July 1st of 2025, and I finished writing. I finished it on July 30th. Um, so 29 days out of all the years, I picked it up and I completed it. So we are now here,

Fear Of An Overcomer: Reflections Of His Grace. So [00:25:00] yes, that's the assignment in which God led me to write this book and which he told me I would do in 2017. Um, but now we're here.

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Okay, congratulations. I'm looking forward to reading it. 

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Yes, I'm excited for you. 

Yolanda Holliday, Host: and, and the, um, fact that when you started, the way your therapist called you out to make sure you was writing it from a healed place, that is important. That is a good therapist. That is important. Okay. So in, in your, in your journey to becoming, what are you most proud of about yourself?

Throughout all of what you've experienced, healed through, your journey, and where you are today, what are you most proud of about yourself?

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: What am I most proud of? I would say there are a few [00:26:00] things, honestly. My confidence. I, I didn't used to be confident in myself. When I'm talking about confidence, I'm talking about who Sharmaine is at the core, my true identity, and being okay to be myself at all times without having to conform or shrink here in certain rooms or spaces. So my confidence in myself for sure. Leaning on my discernment, the capabilities of being able to discern right from wrong, when and how. I'm also very proud of the tenacity because of a lot of people, they wouldn't have made it. They would've gave up. You know what I mean? I was literally reflecting on last night, my mother, when she raised me, she went through a season where it just got overwhelming to her, and she decided to allow, um, someone else to raise her children, myself and my sister at the time, one of my sisters at the time.

It was just two of us then. And, [00:27:00] um, I was just telling my... When I was on the phone with her, like I understand how sometimes as a mother it can get so overwhelming, especially a single mother, overwhelming to the point to where it's just like, "Hey, I just need a minute. Let me get myself together." But, to have that tenacity and the willpower, the discipline to be able to just push through and continue to, go through it all and figure it out as I go, and not give up and not look back in those moments where, you might have some low moments financially.

You know what I mean? Being a business owner is not easy. It's 100% faith walk. Well, I can't go back to stripping. I can't go back to doing the things that I was doing before just when money get low. You know what I mean? So it's just like, and I, God always continue to show up and come through each and every time.

So all of those things I would definitely say I'm very proud of. Very proud of.[00:28:00] 

Yolanda Holliday, Host: That's exciting. I'm glad that you're able to stop and give yourself kudos because a lot of times we struggle with that. We struggle with, we can see the good in everyone else, but not in ourselves. So I'm proud of you just for what I know of you, just sharing your story. I can see it in your energy.

I can hear it in your voice. So as from one Black woman to another, I'm proud of you because I know life's not easy. All of us have been through something, and it's no one's responsibility to get us to the place of becoming but our own. And so for any sister that is taking that journey, I'm super proud of.

I am cheerleading because I've had to do it, and I know it's not easy, and we all had to recover from something. But we owe it to ourselves because we deserve the life that's on the other side of the struggle. We deserve the peace. Like, life ain't always supposed to be in survivalist mode. We do what we have to do when we have to do it, but at some point when the kids are [00:29:00] gone, when the relationship is over, just when you're tired and broken down, at some point you gotta say, "There's better.

What's next? How do I get there?" And do the work for yourself. So I'm proud of you. I'm cheering for you. I am going to order and look at the book. I am excited to read it. Tell us what else is happening. Like, how can we support you? Where can we follow you? What do you need from us?

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: So, I am Charlotte-based currently. I am a mama. I'm a realtor, licensed for North and South Carolina. But my brokerage is an international brokerage, so I can service anybody anywhere. As well as we have offices in six different countries as well. Sharmaine the Boss Broker is the brand for real estate. You can find me anywhere on any social media platforms at Sharmaine the Boss Broker, and all things shifting, Shift Coach, Sharmaine the Shift Coach, in which I am [00:30:00] here to help women understand and overcome that you are more than just your title. You are more than your current circumstances. Um, in which I help women understand, how to find their voices, and I teach a shift framework where you first surrender and then you heal, and then you find your new identity so you can move forward and then transform. So, Sharmaine the Shift Coach, you can follow me on any social media platform at Sharmaine the Shift Coach. My book, Fear of an Overcomer: Reflections of His Grace, you can purchase it on Amazon, or you can go to my website at officialshiftcoach.com. I am speaking, I'm in the room, so if you need someone to do women empowerment or, business owners or group of teens, especially young girls.

Young women, uh, women and young girls is, my ministry. And so if [00:31:00] anyone is looking, I'm open. You can go to officialshiftcoach.com and also book an inquiry, for speaking as well. And what else do I have going on? I'm actually getting ready to do my, official book signing event here in Charlotte at the library.

I've now gotten a partnership with the Charlotte Mecklenburg Library at the University Regional Library here. It's a new library here in Charlotte, so I'll be doing my book signing on November 7th. I'll be at the Ecclesia Purpose... all this information is on my social media platforms. It's a lot going on. I'm just grateful to be here. I'm

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Love it.

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: to be here, so yeah.

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Love it. And when you're doing all of the things, when you're living in your purpose, some would say, "Isn't that overwhelming?" It's not overwhelming 'cause you're living in your purpose, so you're doing all the things that you wanna do, so I'm happy for you.

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Thank you. Thank you. Thank

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Any last words you wanna leave with us?

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: I'm a talker, [00:32:00] so I'm gonna try to keep this, try

to keep this, 

Yolanda Holliday, Host: We're here. The mic is yours

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: I'll try to keep this very short and sweet, but I do, want to encourage the ones that will be able to watch this interview or this podcast, this conversation. A few things I want you to remember. I want you to remember that you cannot build a transformed life with an untransformed identity. There were times in the Bible where God tested his disciples, and before he would change the name of the people in the Bible, he would charge them or test them with a certain action to see if they would be obedient. And once they did those things and he saw the heart of those, he then named them according to what it was that they were supposed to be. So your identity, [00:33:00] don't get wrapped into your current circumstances. Know who you are, know whose you are, and everything else will follow. Another thing is, you can't change what happened, but you get to decide what happens next. And one thing that I learned while going through my journey, is that I wanted people to pay for what they did. I wanted them to have some kind of repercussion, some of them, not all of them, for what they did or the lack thereof, or what they didn't do. And that was one of the reasons why it was a hard time for me to heal. And that F word, forgive, ooh, that was a cuss word to me. It, it was hard for me to say it. I could not. Like, I was, I was struggling, okay? But, um, you know, you, you don't, you can't change that. And another thing, God uses every single thing. Hear me out. He uses everything that you went through, everything [00:34:00] that you've gone through, everything that you're going to go through.

It is all for the good of him

to help you do what it is that you are supposed to do. So do not keep yourself in a state to where you feel like you are less than. You are not less than. You are more than enough. He's already given you the tools, but you have the power to decide what happens next

Yolanda Holliday, Host: Yes. Yes. Powerful words. Okay. Well, I greatly appreciate you. I thank you for this conversation, your transparency, your energy. I appreciate it. I know there are some women out there who's going to listen to this, and it's going to feed them. It's gonna give them what they need in the moment. So for that, I'm thanking you for them

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Thank you. I appreciate you for allowing me to take some time with you and have this conversation. I'm

so, so excited and so grateful. Peace and blessings to all that you do and [00:35:00] all that you put your hand to do. I pray that it will grow in a dynamic way, more than enough room to receive. You will have more than enough room to receive.

It will be a season of overflow just because of your obedience and what you're doing because this is very much so needed, so thank you

Yolanda Holliday, Host: I receive it and I thank you

Sharmaine Croutch — The Shift Coach: Absolutely

I am grateful that we pushed through the conversation today. Like I said, it's not perfect. If you're seeing this, I'm asking for your grace because this is not the normal studio. But none of that determined or dictated the conversation. It was a great conversation. I am thankful to Sharmaine for just her full transparency, for shedding her light and sharing little nuggets with us, for her faith.

I appreciate her, and I thank you for taking this journey with me. If you want to hear more [00:36:00] about what's happening with Curated Living, with the podcast, I invite you to visit www.curatedlivingbyyh.com. The website for the podcast is www.win wisdomwhatnow.com. There are some, some exciting things happening in the community.

If you wanna be a part of the community, it's a safe space for Black women over 40, I invite you to join the circle. So when you go to the Curated Living website, just click on Curated Circle, and all the information you need is there. We have events. We have expert speakers. We are coming together, having real conversations.

We are at our safe space. We are there for everyone else, and this is a space for us, so I invite you to join. I appreciate you. I thank you for your following. I thank you for your support. If no one has told you, you are amazing. You deserve grace. You deserve to be happy. You deserve peace. I am with you, and I [00:37:00] am cheering for you to go through your journey to get to that place.

And if you have, I'm celebrating with you because this is where we need to be in this season of life. We don't have to do any of this alone. So I thank you for coming and joining me, and I invite you to come and join the community. Until next week, we meet here every Tuesday, 6:00 AM, a new episode release.

Until next week, thank you